From their graves they're exhumed for a spin Homeless mavens of doom...what a din! Monstrous evil rambunctious, Drac deceivingly unctuous; For such knaves there's no room at the inn.
Larry Talbot (Lon Chaney Jr) and the Monster (Glenn Strange) tussle over the bodies of Dr. Edelmann (Onslow Stevens) and Inspector Holtz (Lionel Atwill) in House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945). Title by silently running David Cairns.
There's no set of old schmoes any stranger,
Who to Bethlehem pose such a danger
Your good tidings of joy
We'll deride, then destroy
Never let us get close to the manger. Dr. Edelmann is throttled by the monster: the silhouettes of Onslow Stevens and Glenn Strange in House of Dracula (1945).
Someone decked the count's coffin with holly
Poor Doc Edelmann's off of his trolley
While the Monster lies prone
Like some Hanukkah drone
And the werewolf feels awful, not jolly. House of Dracula (1945). Title by bumpy David Cairns.
To a world which for "its" were intended,
Comes a girl, her back "Fritzed" and distended
Over test tubes she labors
'Midst detestable neighbors,
Till she's hurled down a pit, her life ended.
Hunchbacked Nina (Jane "Poni" Adams) assists the mad doctor in House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945). "Fritzed" refers to Fritz, the hunchback played by Dwight Frye in Frankenstein (1931). I have a hunch this is another of our Dwight Frye-Days.
Larry's tired of being a grump To expire, in the sea took a jump But, awaiting below, Was no fatal K.O. -- He's required to sequel, poor chump.
In House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945), a despairing Larry Talbot leaps off a cliff and lands near a cave containing Frankenstein's Monster, still clutching the skeletal remains of Dr. Niemann, both conveniently transported from the quicksand at the end of House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944). Pictured: Onslow Stevens, possibly Glenn Strange, and Lon Chaney Jr.
Always brooding, he's grumpy, dejected Can his mood -- in the dumps -- be corrected? When, by moonlight ill met, Larry soon starts to fret, For the fluids he pumps are infected.
In House of Dracula (1945), hunchbacked Nina (Jane "Poni" Adams), Dr. Edelmann (Onslow Stevens), and nurse Milizia (Martha O'Driscoll) all try to help cure Lawrence Talbot (Lon Chaney Jr) of his lycanthropy. Title by mood swinger David Cairns.
Count Drac is one heck of a goon
In his path human wreckage is strewn
He is handsome but twisted
And he can't be resisted
From his wrath no one's neck is immune. John Carradine plays the vampire count in House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945). Title by outlying Norm Knott.
Here's the hunchback, like Fritz in a skirt
She's no honeybunch, glitzy and pert
But just look past her spine
Though she's crooked she's fine
And more fun than some ritzy stuffed shirt. David Cairns and Surly Hack Jane "Poni" Adams as Nina in House of Dracula (1945). Fritz is the hunchback played by Dwight Frye in Frankenstein (1931).
In his vintage manse, drafty and damp,
In a window his staff leaves a lamp
Strangers knock on his door,
But the doc isn't sore --
He lets in ev'ry half-wit and vamp. Count Dracula (John Carradine, right) pays a visit to Dr. Edelmann (Onslow Stevens) in House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945).
It's too bad that these two couldn't wed
Just imagine their brood if they bred
But their sleeping arrangement
Would cause deepest estrangement
Those two backs haven't room in one bed.
Pictured are hunchbacks Daniel (J Carrol Naish) in House of Frankenstein (1944), and Nina (Jane "Poni" Adams) in House of Dracula. This limerick was suggested by regular LimerWrecks reader Caffeinated Joe. Its title is by irregular writer David Cairns.
This lady's no swine like old Dwight She'd played more benign and polite But she's bent like that chump With identical hump Thus betrayed by a spine-curving blight.
David Cairns and Surly Hack Martha O'Driscoll, Onslow Stevens and Jane "Poni" Adams as Nina,in House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945). Adams' hunchback followed Dwight Frye as Fritz in the original Universal Frankenstein. Dwight Frye-Days lives!
With a roster of monsters that's great It's a hostel for rotters, irate Plus one wacky li'l chick Whose poor back has a crick And whose posture's a lot less than straight. The hunchbacked Nina (Jane "Poni" Adams) keeps an eye on Larry Talbot (Lon Chaney Jr), Dr. Edelmann (Onslow Stevens), and the Monster (Glenn Strange), in House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945).
Be they wicked, lost harlot or nun Helpless victims he'll scar by the ton Ev'ry daughter and mum To the slaughter succumb Till the sicko gets charred by the sun.
In House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945), Count Latos, aka Dracula (John Carradine) pursues mellifluous Milizia (Martha O'Driscoll). David Cairns writes a lot o' titles for LimerWrecks, including this one.