Friday, May 25, 2018

Brainwashout



He's a blockhead, a hateful wee wart
Whom the doc will berate or exhort
He's a germ-ridden grouch
With a permanent crouch
And a walking-stick greatly too short.

David Cairns

Fritz (Dwight Frye) is startled in Frankenstein James Whale; 1931).

Thursday, May 24, 2018

Voyage to the Bottom of Chris Lee



In The Lord of the Rings Lee's a smash
Strikes a chord playing things that act rash
As a ghoul he's true boo
Like his cool Fu Manchu
He'd have scored playing Ming versus Flash.

Christopher Lee as Saruman in The Lord of the Rings trilogy (Peter Jackson; 2001–2003).

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Guess Who's Yummy For Dinner?



Drac was given obscene final rites
Yet still "lives" on cuisine he eats nights
And each virginal dish
Finds his urges delish
As they quiver, he leans in and bites.
 
Christopher Lee and Veronica Carlson in Dracula Has Risen From the Grave  (Freddie Francis; 1968).

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

The Mummy's Cursed



Once more you're the thing, what a shock
The gore you must fling, heads you'll knock
These heavies won't end
Dear heaven, forfend!
What a bore is this string of pure schlock.

 

Christopher Lee is The Mummy (Terrence Fisher; 1959). Yvonne Furneaux is Isobel Banning / Princess Ananka. The film derives its plot and characters entirely from two 1940s Universal films, The Mummy's Hand and The Mummy's Tomb, with the climax borrowed directly from The Mummy's Ghost. Title via the cursor of David Cairns. (Info via Wikipedia)

Monday, May 21, 2018

Babe-Hound of the Baskervilles



He ought to seek clues to unmask her.
She's hot, so he won't think to ask her.
Someday, but for others,
He'll play both Holmes brothers
And not just a horny young Basker.

Donald B. Benson



Christopher Lee (Sir Henry Baskerville) gets cozy with Marla Landi (Cecile Stapleton) in The Hound of the Baskervilles (Terence Fisher; 1959). Lee played Mycroft Holmes in The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes and Sherlock Holmes in Sherlock Holmes and the Deadly Necklace.

Friday, May 18, 2018

Fritz Delimit!



This Fritz isn't bad with a knife
The ditz has known madness and strife
This monster abuser
From the onset, a loser
Lives a pitiful, sad little life



Fritz (Dwight Frye) climbs the gallows in Frankenstein (James Whale, 1931).

Thursday, May 17, 2018

Full of Hound and Furry



He bays in the night something awful
Drives you crazy with fright, it's unlawful
After dark please don't hike
Or he'll bark then bite like
An Arabian bites a falafel.

David Cairns

Beware The Hound of the Baskervilles (Terence Fisher; 1959).

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Bow-Wowdlerized



With Peter as Sherlock it's gripping
He's heated and surly, quite ripping
Though the plot he must foil's
Mostly not Conan Doyle's
It's replete with a cur that's been nipping.

David Cairns

Peter Cushing is Sherlock Holmes in the Hammer Films production of The Hound of the Baskervilles (Terence Fisher; 1959).

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Moors the Pity



Walk the moor through the thickets and fog
You'll endure pits of quicksand and bog
And traversing the mire
Mutter curses, perspire...
Just be sure you're not licked by the dog.

Christopher Lee as Sir Henry Baskerville, and André Morell as Doctor Watson in The Hound of the Baskervilles (Terence Fisher; 1959).

Monday, May 14, 2018

The Baskerville Verse



Old Baskerville slipped out to meet
A trick who had promised a treat.
Poor fellow then found
One hell of a hound...
Call 221B Baker Street!

Donald B. Benson

André Morell as Doctor Watson and Peter Cushing as Sherlock Holmes investigate The Hound of the Baskervilles (Terence Fisher; 1959).

Friday, May 11, 2018

Working the Thing Shift



When making a monster at crunch time
No breaks, no such nonsense as lunchtime
There's bodies to nab,
Odd jobs at the lab...
Mistakes? Just move on, ‘cause it’s hunch-time!

Hunchback Fritz (Dwight Frye) is given instructions by Henry (Colin Clive) in Frankenstein (James Whale, 1931). Title and assist by shifty Donald B. Benson.

Thursday, May 10, 2018

Call Of Duty-Free



A scarecrow that's got human eyes!
And mares that all trot in disguise!
Grim brute and strange creatures
Are fruit of a preacher's
Not caring a jot for excise.

Donald B. Benson



Parson Peter Cushing secretly leads a band of smugglers in Captain Clegg aka Night Creatures (Terence Fisher; 1962). The scarecrow hid the smugglers’ lookout. The smugglers would disguise themselves -- and their horses -- as skeletons, far less convincingly than the posters suggest.

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Marsh Fellows



He's cunning, the Reverend Bliss.
Rum runner who locals don't hiss.
He isn't a Syn,
For Disney'd cut in
And done his own version of this.

Donald B. Benson

Peter Cushing in Night Creatures aka Captain Clegg (Peter Graham Scott; 1962). From Donald Benson: "Dr. Syn, the smuggling vicar, was revived by both Hammer (Night Creatures) and Disney (The Scarecrow of Romney Marsh). After legal sparring Hammer renamed its hero Bliss (but oddly kept other character names) and left the colorful alter ego to Disney; Night Creatures is a much different and much darker tale next to Disney's iconic do-gooder."