Friday, December 15, 2017

Flat Mates


Oh, the wonderful terror you've sown!
All the fun, all the scares you have known!
But the good times must end
You and Ludwig, your friend
Are both done, and from parapet thrown.

The Monster (Boris Karloff)  attacks henchmen Karl (Dwight Frye) and Ludwig (Ted Billings) in Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale; 1935). Credit for the title to Donald Benson, sans flattery.

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Captain Rehab

Has the captain gone nuts in his craft?
Has he snapped, started cuttin', gone daft?
Does he test his crew's limits
Like that pest Chester Nimitz?
Holy crap! Blood and guts flow abaft!

David Cairns

Richard Dix captains The Ghost Ship (Mark Robson; 1943). Limerick Lexicon: Abaft--at or near or toward the stern of a ship or tail of an airplane. You can look up Nimitz on your own.

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

A Queeg of Their Own

What happens to crews when they find
Themselves trapped in this bruising sea-bind:
As dark shadows loom large
There's a madman in charge
When their Captain starts losing his mind.

Richard Dix captains The Ghost Ship (Mark Robson; 1943). Donald Benson owns the title.

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Done, With Mirrors

In a heap in your bed, at death's door
Seems the Reaper has readied one more
In repose, with no breath
They suppose it's your death
If you "sleep like the dead," try to snore!

Cataleptic Katherine Emery takes a potentially fatal nap in Isle of the Dead (Mark Robson; 1945). Title done right by Donald Benson.

Monday, December 11, 2017

Ode to a Gruesome Turn

Great buckets of gore have been shed
Lives struck down in war, running red
An island of death
Of final, last breath
Souls plucked by the score join the dead.

Marc Cramer and Boris Karloff walk through a corpse-strewn battlefield at the start of Isle of the Dead (Mark Robson; 1945). Title by well turned Donald Benson.

Sunday, December 10, 2017

Veg of Glory

Despite thews, guts and brawn he's a loser
When abused by this monstrous big bruiser
Popeye's beaten by cretin
Till a neat tin is eaten
To the music of John Philip Sooser.

David Cairns and Donald B. Benson

Popeye seeks a spinach boost in Blow Me Down (1933).

Friday, December 8, 2017

Happiness is a Warm Goon

Karl feeds on his villainous spree
Bad deeds always fill him with glee
He's more than fulfilled
By horror he's thrilled!
He needs it to kill his ennui.

Dwight Frye as Karl, murderous henchman to Doctor Pretorius, enjoying his work in Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale;1935).

Thursday, December 7, 2017

Dirge Overkill

Lewton brings out the poet in me
And I sing as I go, do re mi
On the Isle of the Dead
I fall silent with dread
In a kingdom, like Poe's by the sea.

David Cairns

Boris Karloff and Marc Cramer draw near the Isle of the Dead (Mark Robson; 1945).

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Dead Skelton

They thought Knaggs was tipsy at dinner
Quite blotto! A dipso! The sinner!
They were vaguely misled
He had plague; now he's dead
Have they caught it? Their script's getting thinner...

David Cairns

Skelton Knaggs, Jason Robards Sr., Boris Karloff, and Helen Thimig (seated) in in Isle of the Dead (Mark Robson; 1945).

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Packaged Holiday

An unfeeling, and deeply wrong fate
Will steal up as she's sleeping quite late
Cataleptic in bed
With no pep, looking dead
She'll get sealed up for good in a crate.

David Cairns

Marc Cramer, Jason Robards Sr,, and Boris Karloff  in Isle of the Dead (Mark Robson; 1945). "This one really upset me as a kid," says David Cairns.

Monday, December 4, 2017

Early to Bed, Early Demise


On the Isle of the Dead you'll feel fine
And so smiling in bed you'll recline
But this nap spells your doom
As you're trapped in a tomb
Quickly filed under "zed," cased in pine.

David Cairns

Katherine Emery looks dead to the world in Isle of the Dead (Mark Robson; 1945). "This one really upset me as a kid," says David Cairns.

Sunday, December 3, 2017

Popeye the Assailer Man

Just one can has me twisting and flailing
And with anvil-like fists I'm assailing
One big blow to the features
Knocks him over the bleachers
When he lands he'll be blistered and wailing!

David Cairns

Popeye's spinach-fueled punch destroys both Bluto and the diner in We Aim To Please (1934).

Friday, December 1, 2017

Imployee of the Month

Grave-robbing? Don't hire Burke and Hare
It's a job for a firebrand who'll care
For with luck, who gets paid
Ain't some schmuck with a spade
For two bob young Dwight Frye will be there.

David Cairns

Dwight Frye as Fritz, and Colin Clive as Henry Frankenstein (James Whale; 1931).